I Want To Complain Less Or How To Practice Positivity
I imagine that if you’re reading this article, you know that complaining is not a good habit. Simple. But we all fail to stop doing it especially in such trying times as this one. I know I have tried it and really need to retrain and remind myself to stop and see the good sides of each “bad” thing I am complaining about. With the coronavirus pandemic, the lives of half of the world have changed and brought us to adapt to a new order. It’s an extremely trying period for all of us and most have been asking themselves why? Why, why, why?
Instead of asking “why” all the time, I have been trying to say, “well this will make this better?”As, I have been finding myself complaining too much lately, I started reminding myself how useless it is and how the bad habit is quick in crawling back into your daily life.
So first, I started finding the “silver lining” of each annoying or negative event. I know that when things are going bad, there’s going to be some good that will come from it. There is a popular expression in Spanish that exactly explains that. “No hay mal que por bien no venga.” Literally means, there are no bad from which good will not come.
Complaining is a habit- “You are what you practice most”
Then, I started focusing on the good I have found and practice It over and over. Practice and discipline are essential:
- Didn’t get promoted? Good. More time to get better at something.
- Didn’t get funded? Good. We own more of the company.
- Didn’t get the job I wanted? Good. Probably that company wasn’t meant for me. They saw something in me that wouldn’t fit in their culture and would have made me miserable. I will go get coaching and clarify my values and talents to find a better match
- Got injured? Good. Needed a break from training.
- Unexpected problems? Good. This is an opportunity to figure out a how to do things differently”
Save your energy for when BIG things go wrong
Lasly, I reopened the book “don’t sweat the small stuff” that I read 20 years ago which really showed me how to practice complaining less. It can be easy not to sweat the small stuff, it doesn’t matter if it’s raining today? But what happens when big things happen. How do you hold up when big setbacks happen? Do you still complain? Or have you trained yourself enough to always focus on the good?
Right now is the perfect time to measure yourself and practice positivity. The coronavirus basically made the world stop. This has never happened before. What are the silver linings for you? Take time every morning to think about what good will come from the day as you life is upside down? Is it that you are helping your kids at home, is it that you are travelling less and spending more time on strategy, is it that you are just getting to know yourself better as living alone, knowing how to cope with stress, loneliness or anxiety? Somethings are going for the best, or going to be a learning opportunity or a resilience builder or a discovery.
I can tell you from personal experience that this “good” strategy is effective.
I will end with this quote from the author of “don’t sweat the small stuff”: “The key to a good life is this: If you’re not going to remember something during the last hour of your life, then don’t make it a top priority during your lifetime.” ― Richard Carlson, Ph.D. (author of “don’t sweat the small stuff”